KEEWAN's Xanga

Friday, September 15, 2006

Fri, 15 Sep 2006 01:16:04 GMT

Happy Birthday to Her...

Her birthday was yesterday. Really happy to know that she was having lots of fun yesterday with her fellow gang in Midvalley Megamall. Too bad I couldn't follow them because I had basketball practice, preparing to have war with the Semester 3 players on this Saturday. The match is at 1.00p.m. Hope to win this match even though we know that they are very strong team plus they are the defending champion for the previous IMU cup.
Anyway, I did celebrate her birthday. Guess what, I was planning to celebrate her birthday exactly at 12.00a.m 14/9/2006. However, since most of my friends need to sleep early due to classes on the next day, so I brought forward one hour earlier. Ermm...Yea, I smsed her in the evening saying that that night we would go out for 'yum cha' in mamak. Hehehe~She was 'under my control'! I called others to come to my house first around 10.30p.m. We wait for her arrival. Before she entered my house, I asked others to wait in my room with the cake and I distracted her in the living room. Then, we made a surprise for her. Boo-ya! Umm...I don't think it was a surprise afterall because I kinda screw up with my acting skills. Lolx! Everyone 'kena' her by asking her to pick up 10 candles from the cake! Oh mi God~Who asks her to reach 19 years old (1 big candle and 9 small candles!). Hahaha~While enjoying the cake, they beat up each other in Naruto. Roney and Thuan Tzern played Naruto for the first time. Roney was good but Thuan Tzern kept complaining he sucks and he preferred DOA. =.=" That fella really likes hotchicks game. Well, I really hope that you guys really had fun that night though on the next day we had PBL. >.< They left my house around 1.15a.m. Oh yea, David and Fatty Ken came to visit us! They stayed here for one night. Wahlau...David + Fatty Ken + Leong = Really damn gay! Throughout my sleep that night, I could hear the PS2 fighting sound and their gay voices. Apparently, they slept at 6.00a.m! Omg...They all really Godlike wei. However, on the next day, Leong turned into a zombie freak. Noob face with dark panda eyes and spoke in zombie language. Lolx!
Hmm...Im a person who like to think back the past. That's me and no one can change my personalities. Flash back: That time during the semester break, I asked her out for date. And...I was planning to date her during this week, either on Wednesday, or on her birthday, or today (Friday). Huh...God knows our fate turn to be like this. Yea, my plan became 'dusts'...I told her that the 'going out' plan was cancelled because I don't want both of us think too much and suffer later. *Sigh* What to do...
I'll stop here. My class is going to start in 10 minutes. My bless to everyone in this world...

**P.S. Ya-ya-ya...I know I long time didn't blog d. Finally I have something to blog on for the past two days. =D

-KEE-

Saturday, July 15, 2006

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 11:20:51 GMT

Quiet Week...

Just came back from Aikido seminar. Today was the second day of training. Tomorrow will be the last day. Really freaking tired...And oh, Teo, thanks for the congratulation. William is staying with me in the apartment in IMU now, until Sunday. He is still finding place to live for the next semester onwards. Feels like IMU and all the Vistas were so quiet...Most of my friends had returned to their hometown. Li Shan went back to Johor. Beh and Zi Yun went back to Penang. Leong is gaying in his own house. Hwei Sung is studying in Kuching. Umm...Many more. William is really good in sleeping. He slept a lot. I mean, way too lots! Yesterday he slept until 6.00p.m. Wah...Really have broken Zahir's and Leong's record. And today, he skipped the Aikido seminar because he wanted to sleep more. Hmm...I didn't know what time he came back yesterday (He went to cyber cafe straight after we finished the Aikido training), err...I should say today morning. I slept at 3.00a.m and still there was no sign of his return.
Okay, talking about Pirates of the Caribbean 2: I didn't watch the first movie, so I had no idea about the history and such, until I asked Eugene. The second movie, well, the story at first was progessing in a slow speed, nice and funny; then to the climax, funny and "syoking" fighting scene; but then the worst thing was the ending. The movie was ended in a fast manner, seemed like the director was forced to 'kill' the story as fast as possible. Lolx. Overall: The movie is good, just that I don't like the ending.
Glad to know that all my close friends pass the first semester. Will be missing you guys for a month. Hope to see you all again in September. Yeap, as soon as we come back, there will be the IMU cup. M106 never dies! M106 rules! *Peace*

-KEE-

Thursday, July 13, 2006

Thu, 13 Jul 2006 12:52:43 GMT

Tired...

Finally this day had arrived. The result would be out at 5.00p.m. In the morning, Eugene, Zi Yun, Kee Ping, Beh, and I went for dim sum in Sri Petaling. After breakfast, as usual, they all went to Sunway Pyramid for skating class. I went for skating too, just for fun! Oh well. This is my third time skating. Remember the previous skating period was with Dorothy, Ting Ting, Leong, Zahir, Lip Son, and hmm...Vin Ken? Anyway, Teo didn't skate. She went to meet her mom. After skating, we went for lunch. That bugger Leong came to Sunway Pyramid with Zahir. I was skating half way and saw them standing otuside the ring, and luckily I didn't fall after seeing them. Hahaha...They were going to watch movie with Valene at 1.50p.m. After lunch, we went back IMU, because at 3.00p.m, I had to help John to carry the tatamis for Aikido seminar. Kee Ping and William were helping too. At first Eugene wanted to come together but then he was so tired and so he was resting in his apartment. The sport center is called Dewan Rakan Muda if I'm not mistaken. It's newly built and is still under renovation. Well, the hall is quite big. The tatamis? My God. There were so many to be moved and they almost covered the whole hall (Three badminton courts). After setting up the mats, crap, we needed to wipe and clean them as well. Tiring...No wonder John needed more help. William was quite frustrated because Thuan Tzern, as a batch rep, didn't come to help us. Reason? I wasn't very clear about it. Meanwhile, reaching 5.00p.m, result time! Phone calls and sms started to flood both Kee Ping and my handphones. Both of us were getting worried. Still, we had to wipe the tatamis. Lolx. Speeding up our work like the speed of light, finally we got the job done by 6.15p.m. Yay! We went to AAD to collect our result. Thank God! Thank God for blessing me to pass this exam. I've got an A. I was relieved. Really...I never let my parents down, and of course, I never let her down. Again, I will continue my journey, for another 4.5 years (If I manage to survive semester 3 and 5...) just like yours. Lets head on together, shall we?
I just came back from dinner. Was eating steam boat together with whole bunch of friends, total of 14 people. First time we were having dinner in a massive group. We all kept on shouting, laughing, and talking so loudly until I noticed many people from other tables were looking at us. The food was nice. But the tea...Too bitter. Lolx. Will be going out again later. Watching "Pirates of the Carribean 2" in Sunway Pyramid at 11.00p.m. As I mentioned, Leong, Zahir, and Valene watched it already. They said not bad, but Leong preferred the first one. Well, we shall see...Haihz. A bit tired now...
Finally I can enjoy my holidays with no worries. Ok then I'll stop here. And, semester two, here I come! Gogogo! =D

-KEE-

Monday, July 10, 2006

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 15:10:02 GMT

Result Week...

The viva list was out today. For those who don't know what is viva, it's a speaking examination. It's for those who are in the 'borderline' category. Supposingly it should be on the notice board at 10.00a.m. Gosh...I drove my car so fast to IMU, and what the heck...It is changed to 12.00p.m. Actually I should go to Sunway Pyramid to meet Zhi Yun, Eugene, Kee Ping, and Chester after checking the results. Since it hadn't out by that time, so I decided to go to Sunway first. Beh was following. Zhi Yun, Valene, Chester, and others are doing ice-skating for elective this whole week. Eugene and Kee Ping joined them just for fun. Well, I should have considered ice-skating as elective before that. Hahaha...They finished skating around 12.30p.m. We went for lunch in Ming Tien. Ming Tien! Oh my...Really long time never eat there. Almost 4 months already. Miss the Ra-men, but finally today I got to eat it. Yay! After lunch, I went back home. I'll stay in IMU this Wednesday, until Sunday. I have to attend the Aikido Seminar on this Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. Plus next Monday I'll be attending the baking class as my elective programme. Leong checked the viva list for us. Hehehe...I'm not in the list, others also. So, now I have to wait until this Thursday, the official result - Passed or Fail. Barely deadly ending...
Kee Ping passed the art competition form to me today. Hmm...I'm still wondering what should I draw. Before that 'incident' happened, actually I had planned to draw 'something'. But now, should I stick to that plan or just change my mind and go for other plan? Haihz...The closing date is in September. I know that I still have lots of time to prepare. I should finish the drawing slowly. Just need to figure out some ideas. Wish me luck...
Just now dinner time, my dad lectured me. Oh well...Same lectures, same stuffs, same advices, same things that have haunted my minds since secondary school. Those things really cause me lots of headaches and problems. I know my dad cares about me. I know he wants me to have a stable career first (Related to my studies) before finding a life-time partner, building my own family. Haihz...Sometimes, it just that someone appears in front of your eyes, and since love is blind, and we will have a special feeling towards that person. My feelings towards that special person...Admiration, with hesitation. The hesitation is bounded by my parents' will and hope. And...yea. Still I'll obey and follow their advices.
Her birthday is coming soon. I can still remember that I made a card for her...*Sigh* (Slap!) Yaya...Case closes. I'll stop here. Missing, missing, and still missing. Where's my true self? Who knows...

-KEE-

Saturday, July 08, 2006

Sat, 08 Jul 2006 11:59:11 GMT

Ball-kicking-day...Huh?

Today morning went to play futsal with my friends in Xtreme Park. Sounds familiar? Yeap, it's in Sunway. Oh well. Vin Ken and I were late. And it was all because of...David! Asked us to wait for 5 minutes and it turned out to be more than 10 minutes, saying that he was burning CD. Porn ar David! We started playing around 12.00p.m. Ten people were playing. The top scorer was Vin Ken's uni friend, Martin. Oh, today was Martin's birthday. Wei Jet's birthday too! But then, he was not able to come. Reason? Hahaha...Those who know Wei Jet well should know the reason. Yeap, dating! Actually I heard from Vin Ken that his girl friend, Boey, came back to P.J all the way from Kedah to celebrate birthday with him. Aww~That's so sweet! We played futsal for an hour. My God...Really so long I didn't play sport since three weeks ago, besides doing Aikido. Felt like vomitting after running on field for just 15 minutes. Lousy me. Have to keep up with my stamina starting from this holiday, because IMU cup is coming soon. Must dominate in basketball! All hail M106's basketball team!
We ate our lunch in Chicken Hut. Yeap, the buffet chicken meal in Sunway Pyramid. Now I got the fear of eating chicken. Ate too much chicken until I got chickophobia now. Lolx. Leong wanted to vomit too after eating too much. Vin Ken's friends were really dominating in eating. They ate for so many rounds of chickens. My gosh. Even Vin Ken also couldn't beat them. After lunch, we went to Inferno to play DotA. Really-really long time never step into Inferno. Still, it hasn't changed. We played a game of DotA. Oh well. I couldn't dominate today because of that idiot Leong. He kept on pawning all the newbies to get money. Then he came out with super items and killed the whole team until his own teammate, that was Vin Ken, had to ask us to kill him. Betrayer ar! Finished playing around 6.15p.m. I reached home at 7.15p.m. Luckily there was no traffic jam. Took my bath and went for dinner.
A bit sleepy now. But still I will play Maple Story later. Hehehe. Huh...Don't know why. I smsed Teo yesterday, umm wait, I should say 2.30a.m this morning, but yet she still hasn't reply me yet. Why? What has happened to you? Something wrong? Do I freak you out? Or are you escaping from me? Tell me...Maybe she was busy. Worried...Ok then. That's all for today. The viva list will be out next Monday. Everyone is getting nervous! Bye~

-KEE-

Thursday, July 06, 2006

Thu, 06 Jul 2006 10:18:58 GMT

Holidays Start...

Finally my exams had finished. My housemate, Hwei Sung, had decided to study in UNIMAS, Kuching. He flew there yesterday morning. He really had difficulties in making this decision long ago. His doubt, "IMU, or UNIMAS?" It had been 4 months together. Making new friends, knowing new people, alone in Kuala Lumpur and no one besides friends will help you to adapt such loneliness. Hard feelings to leave your beloved friends, really creates problem in making decision especially in such situation. However, he had thought of something. He said that this two months he will try that university. If he doesn't like it, he will return to IMU. But, if that university suits him, plus some other factors including his parents, he will definitely stay there, which we really don't hope for such conclusion. Anyway, no matter what is his decision, I will wish him all the best.
My two months holidays will start from now. Huh...What should I do? Besides watching those animes that Zahir lent to me one month ago, and maybe I will go for Aikido practice either in IMU or in the Brickfield's headquarter. *Sigh* Sometimes when I alone in my room, all the awful feelings will come to me again. Thinking of the past sad memories and the mistakes I had made...I should use the holidays to change myself. Umm...Hope so...
Cut my hair today. I'm at my real home now. Tomorrow have to go back to IMU again because just now I sent the approval letter to the baking center and Kee Ping wants it by tomorrow.
I'll stop here. Huh...Just still can't face the reality. Missing her...And God, please bless her with all your efforts...

-KEE-

Sunday, July 02, 2006

Sun, 02 Jul 2006 01:02:12 GMT

Still Have The Doubt...

Really suffering to pretend that I had overcame the negative thoughts inside my head. Sometimes I just suddenly think back and the recurrent episodes of intense shooting pain strike back, and my heart is in pain. I don't think this incident will really disappear from my head. Instead, it'll forever become parts of my memories. Sometimes I also have a mind that let say we both have already started that time in Sunway, will our relationship survive? There are two so-called restriction points. One, the time you returned to Bintulu. Second, the time you left for Crimea. Both of these restriction points have a common characteristic- Distance love. I have seen many of my friends involved in such circumstances. So far from what I saw, most of them still retain the relationship. How about us? Can we survive such a long course if we have already started? Oh well. Maybe I'm still not mature enough. Not mature enough to love a person. Really...Sometimes I have no confidence in myself. Anyway, I'm sure that you will really appreciate of what you have in front of your eyes now. Another 5 years in Crimea, I hope there will be a continuous progress in both of you. And, I'm glad to hear that you are going to find him next month. Good luck and bless.
Woah! Tomorrow is the exam day. Wish me luck...My head...Really hurts now...Headache. God, please tell me when will this pain ends.

-KEE-

**P.S. Huh...Another quote from your blog, Fong Fong. Hmm...

"It's easy to fall in love
the hard part is
finding someone to catch you."

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Sat, 01 Jul 2006 02:24:47 GMT

Understanding...

She had told mostly everything in her blog yesterday. Finally, I realise that there were so many things happen to her in Crimea which I don't exactly know all these days, until yesterday. How she suffered for 9 months there, how lonely she was there, with cold weather...And now, at least I have understood something. It's true that when someone living in overseas without any close ones, they feel very lonely. They need someone's care, they need people's attentions, they need help, and of course - They need to be loved. I understand your situation now, and darn your stupid housemate. With such personalities, I can't imagine when that housemate graduates from medical school. The world will be so messed up if she becomes one of the doctors in this society. Even you had tried to show the attitude of 'give and take', sometimes in the end, that person still never change and appreciate what you have done, and in the end, you had reached to the limit of your patience and poofff!!! You release your anger...Anyway, I'll hope for your best there when you get back there. Hope your future new housemate will be helpful enough for you. Just like my housemate, when I start to clean up the house every week, he hears the sound of sweeping the floor and gets out from the room to help me out. I sweep and he mops the floor. Dividing the jobs and finishing it. You are lucky enough to have someone to help you out from your so-called 'black hole'. Sometimes, in this world, people start to criticize you when they are not happy with you or envy you, or showing the "Kia Su" syndrome. And what I have experienced now is that in IMU, especially during exam periods, when I meet my friends, the first, the very first sentence comes out from their mouths is, "Hey, finish your studies already? Yalah, sure finish already one. Damn geng! I didn't study for so long, just playing around these few days. Haihz..." When I reply them, "Nope. I still lagging behind. Still got many things to cover." Then they said, "Don't lie lah. I know you finish studying already one. Way beyond the syllabus already." See...To me, I don't like such interaction. I didn't lie that time and yet, still they insisted that I was lying. I really miss my college friends now. Vin Ken, Wei Jet, David, Lip Son, etc...I have no such bad and weird feelings when hanging around with them. How about Leong? I don't know. Just feel like he's a bit distance from me nowadays. Not like in college time, we 'fight' and start teasing each other and crapping and crapping. Weird...
Really...When I read her blog, I can sense that she's not really happy now. Infact, it's me that causes all the unhappy, confusion and "down" syndromes in her. And don't, please don't say you are selfish. I think I have barely waken up from my 'dream'. How about you? Don't think so much about whether you are hurting me or not. It doesn't matter now...Since we are destined to be like this, so just stick with it. If we change the destiny, let say in a improper manner, both side will surely be hurt deeper. My friend told me, "You are 20 and still young. There's still a long way for you to head on. So, just head on!" Oh boy. I guess my only choice now is to head on. My exam is two days away...
That's all for today. Have to continue my studies now. Bye.

-KEE-

**P.S. I found these few paragraphs from my friend's blog page. So, Fong Fong, please don't mind that I quote it from your blog page ya. Because it really makes sense to me. Thanks a lot. =D

"Some people come into your life for a season .
they bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh,
or teach you something you've never done.

Lifetime relationships teach you lifetime lessons,
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
it is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life, whether you were a here for a season, or for a lifetime."

Friday, June 30, 2006

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 08:50:08 GMT

Moody...

5.45p.m now...Just came back from IMU. Went for the Medical Museum to see the models to prepare for the exam. It was the first time I went there. Leong and my housemate, Hwei Sung had been there for quite some days. I managed to label most of the stuffs in front of me. There are still many models I haven't go through yet. Probably tomorrow morning or afternoon I will visit again.
Throughout the day, yet, still felt a bit down. The pain was still there. During lunch, I bought a drink and sat in the cafeteria. Guess what...There was a girl sitting at the table in front of me. For some reasons, she looked like her...Maybe it was just my imaginations. Oh well. What to do...
Tonight will be studying Behaviour Sciences. Plus, there's a football match tonight at 11.00p.m - Germany VS Argentina. Later midnight, at 3.00a.m, another match - Ukraine VS Italy. Ukraine huh...*Sigh*
I guess I still manage to concentrate on my studies. I keep telling myself that I can't let my parents down and yea...I can't let her down as well. If I fail, she probably will feel so upset and think that it's her fault causing my failure. I'll stop here. Didn't eat my breakfast and lunch today. Going to eat my dinner now. Bye...

-KEE-

A Music Video on this background song. It takes time to load. Click the 'Play' button on the screen, then pause the video. Let it loads until complete then only play fully. To me, this MV is really meaningful and touches my heart...Really like it.

Thursday, June 29, 2006

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 08:39:50 GMT

Ending...

Really long time never enter this blog already. Even though my place now in IMU can access to Internet, I was busy studying because EOS (End of Semester) exam is coming. First of all, the countdown has officially ended. Yea, she's back...Her return is much earlier than what I expected. She reached KLIA on 20th June. Zahir, Leong, and I went to see her. That day was one of the happiest day in my life. After for 9 months separation, even though we were not close friends in the past, the feeling inside me is so deep, so happy to see her return. Her transfer flight was in the afternoon. We spent our time in Mc Donald, having our meal and the three idiotic of us were playing Sudoku for so long. She didn't know what and how to play Sudoku, just staring and staring, with question marks above her head. At 1.30p.m, we sent her to the departure terminal, and there she went, all the way to Bintulu.
Since her return, these few days I was sitting in front of my laptop, with books on my side, studying while waiting for her to online in MSN. For almost each successive day, everytime I was away with my MSN on, she online. When I came back, she offline. It lasted for almost three days. Until last three days, we finally had a chat, the first chat in MSN after 9 months.
Just while some good things come to you, they won't last for quite a long time. The moment, the ending, the truth that I wish not to hear, came to me yesterday night. She smsed me, telling that she has found someone, a life-time companion. At first, I was so happy to receive her sms, but when I kept on scrolling down the message, it turned uglier and uglier. I closed the message, pretending not to face the truth and continued studying. I just couldn't take it. Every word I read from the books just made me remembering of that message. The stupid thing was that I replied her, "Oh ok. Good luck. Cya." That wasn't me...
Later, Dorothy messaged me in MSN, asking me, "Are u ok?" suddenly. Yea...She knew it. She knew it earlier than me. And she dare not to tell me because she scared I can't take it. Ting ting knew it too. Few days before. Why...Why you just can't keep the secret until I finish my exam first...It's not that it disturbs my studies. I just wish to have some sweet and great moments within this period, either chatting in MSN or smsing or whatever. That feelings will induce me to study harder and harder. Photos...The photos we took together in Bukit Bintang that time before you left for Crimea, photo taken that time you reach KLIA that day. One sticking on the book shelf in front of me, desktop, handphone, and most of all, my mind...Every time I look at the photos, I thought I still have the chance. I removed all of them yesterday, hoping it might work for me not to think too much.
When you return, I really think that my two months holidays will be great, hoping that you will come to KL as earlier as possible and have fun with us. Now, it turns to be like this. Thinking back what I had done in the past, what I did was just as a normal friend. Every night, I pray for your safety and good studies before I sleep. Really my fault...Long ago, I did pray that you will find someone to accompany you in Crimea so that you will be care, and turns out to be true. What I prayed for, I can't even accept it now. Foolish me...
Yes...Same dreadful ending, same pain, same mistakes, same regrets. Three words to conclude everything: ITS TOO LATE! My dad often reminds me not to get into any relation within this period of my age. He asks me to concentrate on studies, on career. Getting a girl friend and building a family, those are later tasks. To follow what my dad tells me, I just can reach you as a close friend, hoping that the close friend term will become powerful enough in the future to become a couple, a life-time partners. Now, within 9 months time in Crimea, you have found 'him'. The promises...I don't know you still remember them or not. ** Just not to be mean...Remember that the time when you broke up with Vincent, you had promised something during the time we chat together in MSN. Find them out...They are meaningless now.
I had no appetite to eat since morning. I didn't have my breakfast and lunch. Woke up around 9.00a.m, and started studying until now. The sympathetic nervous system will conquer my life for quite some time. It's 5.00p.m now and I just ate cup noodle for dinner. Yet still no appetite. Had to force myself to swallow everything in front of me. I can't say anything now. I don't have the ability to turn the clock back into the past. As you said, we are still friends, right? This is the second time you have said it to me, with weird feelings. I guess that's the ending God wants us to stick with. Just give me some time to 'adapt' such ending. Currently, I need some cool down. Don't worry. I'll be fine. Here, I wish you two all the best, both in studies and relationship as well. Just want you to make a last promise with me..."Stick with what you have besides you, and go for it, now and forever." May God bless this couple...

-KEE-